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Arthur Thomas
Memorial Candle Tribute From
Brett Funeral Chapels Ltd.
"We are honored to provide this Book of Memories to the family."
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Condolences

Condolence From: Dave Hartwick
Condolence: I was saddened to hear about Art's passing. He was a very nice man, with great stories, a good sense of humour and a love of nature.
Monday October 23, 2017
Condolence From: Jim Thomas (son)
Condolence: Folks, I am usually a very private person and would rather talk about you than me.
Dad your wish was to not have a service and we will respect that. As your eldest son I'm not sure I could get through this at your service, so Dad this is for you!
It was over 46 years ago my mom, recently separated and struggling as a single mom, wanted to provide her 2 children, my younger brother Scott and myself with a male influence. She reached out to the Big Brothers organization to see if there was a special person that would take on 2 young boys 2 and 4 years old at the time. Who knew that our future Stepdad (Dad) would assist in facilitating this through the organization where he volunteered.
Scott and I were connected with a Big Brother and a very good man, "Frank". Frank was a terrific influence and a much needed male presence. A good as Frank was he would not be in the picture all that long.
45 years ago next week my mom started dating my future dad. Even though I was very young I recall how much joy this man brought to my mother. He started coming around and would spend more time with us before they would go on a date. We really enjoyed his visits. The dating continued and became more frequent. My future dad was also going through a separation and had 2 boys from his first marriage.
I recall how guarded mom became with Scott and I. I see now that she did not want Scott and I to become attached to a man who may not be "the one". I think Scott and I knew before mom did that dad was the "one"!
The relationship escalated between mom and dad and eventually dad moved in. I remember dad showed up with a few garbage bags full of clothes and a "BOAT"! Oh, that BOAT! I recall so many wonderful days on that boat. I remember catching my first fish on that boat. I learned how to water ski at very young age on that boat. I learned how to swim on that boat. I remember the joy we had on that boat, the sense of family that boat brought.
I don't think I was much more than 6 when I overheard a conversation between mom and dad. They were talking about how much (2) divorces cost and the cost of raising (4) boys. Scott and I and my (2) brothers from his first marriage David and Bryan. Shortly, thereafter the boat was gone. I would learn later that dad sold his only possession to fund (2) divorces and the support of (4) boys. I know he did this instinctively and never looked back with any type of regret or remorse. He was a dad and that's what dads did.
It was not long after this that mom and dad got married. I remember it well. I was in grade 4 and got the day off school. They were married in the village church on a weekday. It was a small wedding, the bride, groom, brides maid, best man, Scott and I and a handful of family and friends who could get the time off work. It was a simple wedding but a turning point for our family. Now that mom had the Thomas name he wanted his other (2) sons to have it too. To everyone in the village we were Art Thomas' sons. Dad began his quest to adopt us. He spent hours, days, weeks and months with Scott and I wanting to make sure this is what we wanted too. We assured him it was.
It was grade 6 when Dad came to Scott and I and told us most of the required steps for adoption had been completed. The last step was for Scott and I to meet with a Family Court Judge to answer some questions. I can remember to this day how nervous I was to actually go in front of a Judge! I am sure Dad was even more nervous, but he calmly reassured us that if we answered the questions truthfully it would be fine. We met with the Judge. It was not as scary as I had anticipated. Although I am sure for weeks after dad was on pins and needles waiting for the decision. The decisions came. I remember coming home from school and Dad was so happy and excited. He hugged the pair of us and told us we were now officially Thomas'. The family unit was officially complete.
In reality not much had changed. The Thomas Family had long accepted Mom, Scott and I into the family. Mom and Dad had been talking about and telling stories about their (4) sons David, Bryan, Scott and I.
It was so cool having so many aunts and uncles, 4 on dad's side and 5 on mom's side. The Thomas Uncles Jim, Joe and Ken along with Aunt Heather and the Weatherup Uncles Ed, John and Dave along with Aunts Chris and Viv.
Scott and I were extremely fortunate to have such a large family. We had such a great time with all of them. Uncle Jim was in Toronto and introduced us to the City. He was the one who took us to see Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back. I recall riding in Uncle Jim's early 70's Chevelle blasting the theme to Star Wars on trips back and forth to Toronto. Uncle Ken had all the latest electronic gadgets and would let us play with them until we were exhausted. I recall building electrical circuits in Uncles Ken's basement. I am certain it was this early influence that had me wanting to become an electrician. Uncle Joe had a hobby farm and I loved going to see and play with the animals. Aunt Heather was a school teacher. She helped fund my first year of college.
I learned years later that dad did not always get the popular vote with his in-laws. However, I was unaware of this until I was an adult. Dad always encouraged us to continue to develop the great relationship we had with the Weatherup Aunts and Uncles. Those Aunts and Uncles who supported us through mom's separation and who were always there to lend a helping hand. Whether it was Uncle Dave and Uncle John taking us on snowmobile, biking or fishing outings. Or, Uncle Ed taking us on motorcycle rides and letting us walk in the river without shoes. I recall times spent with Aunt Chris in Norwood and what great times we had. And, Aunt Viv was always there to babysit Scott and I. Aunt Viv is with Mom now and I cannot thank her enough for that. Dad went out of his way to make sure we had relationships with all of these people.
Oddly, it was not until I was in my 30's when I realized how important what my dad did with regards to my Father really was. See Dad always encouraged Scott and I to have a strong relationship with our Father, Jim. Dad would drive hours to drop us off so we could spend time with our Father and his wife Linda and my brother Greg (Linda's first son). Dad supported this effort so much that I recall several evenings my Father, Linda and Greg would stay at the house (yes our house) while in town visiting. This may seem odd to some but it was that important to dad for us to have a relationship with our Father. My Father and Linda went on to have (3) more children. My brothers Adam, Brandon and my sister Beth-Anne. I remember the excitement dad had each time a new baby was born and he told us the news. To this day I have a wonderful relationship with my Father, Linda and my siblings Greg, Adam, Brandon and Beth-Anne.
As an adult I can respect how difficult it must have been to share a child and to deal with the influences that Dad may not have fully agreed with...but we never knew it! Dad had very strong opinions and convictions. I see today that many were not popular. However, his guidance, patience and perseverance with David, Scott, Bryan and I was remarkable. It helped shape each of us and I am grateful for it. Like most dads he was a mentor and a bit of a tormentor but I love him for it. He instilled values in me that I hope I have passed on to my girls and that they in turn pass onto their children!
Sadly, as adults we did not always see eye to eye. Dad, I hope I made you proud of the person I've become. Your generosity and warmth throughout the years has been of great comfort. I am proud to be your son.
Dad, until we meet again ...Rest in Peace!


Sunday October 22, 2017

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